I had dinner with Scott and Cindy on Friday night, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I got along with their girls, although I think I did distract one from doing her homework most of the night. I was really glad it went well, because I was kind of nervous about it. I consider them friends, and vice versa, but there's still a kind of barrier in my mind between us because I was a student of Scott's. Fortunately, as the night progressed, the barrier weakened a bit, although it was certainly still there. It sounds foolish, but I was (and am) afraid that they have a completely false perception of who I am. I guess I feel like they have a higher view of me than they should. I am not the intelligent girl they think I am; grades do not equal intelligence. Nonetheless, their confidence in my abilities is appreciated and may even someday bolster my own. It means a lot that two people I have a lot of respect for believe in me, however undeserved that faith may be.
posted by Jennifer @ 12:46 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Ah, this is something I can speak to.
In my early college and University days, I was very frequently surrounded by people who were many years older than I (and we were peers!)
In fact, when I was in community college, I was not only the youngest in my study group/circle of friends (18) the next youngest person was 30!
It is intimidating to be considered a peer amound people who are so much older, but at the same time, you have to be yourself. There is no need for pretense, or expectations. The reason they like you is because of YOU; your flaws, your youth, all of it!
So rest in the fact that you are so likeable, and enjoy their company; as much as they enjoy yours.
One of my better friends is in her early sixties (about twenty years older than me). At first, I thought "danger! She'll turn into my mother! and i'll be blathering all the time to her about this and that and who would want a friend like that?! But, then I just relaxed and was her friend in return (not daughter!) and now I'm here for her in a friendship way. I'm so happy to have a mature (yet fun) friend in my life.
But, those role things are awkward at first until they blather to you about this and that for a while and then you see how subnormal they are just like you. :)
Perhaps that will happen. :) I don't think either that they would lie about how they perceive you. Must be true in a way that you can't see right now.
Take care!
Teri
Go Tigers and Panthers!
Allow me to put your mind at ease. :)
We don't expect you to dazzle us intellectually; we do appreciate the fact that you think about things and have thoughtful opinions. (You may not yet have discovered that while everyone has opinions, very few people actually have thoughtfullly formed opinions and even fewer are able to express those opinions thoughtfully.) Swapping real thoughts with real and pleasant people is a treat for us, regardless of age differences or even agreeances. :)
We understand that intelligence and grades aren't necessarily the same thing. You happen to have both, but if you didn't apply yourself as diligently as you do, the intelligence wouldn't mean diddly, even if your grades were good. We've seen lots of frighteningly intelligent friends make complete shambles of their lives. You have something better than intellectual ability, Jennifer. It's called character.
Jeremy is absolutely spot-on with this: "The reason they like you is because of YOU; your flaws, your youth, all of it!" Yeah. What he said!
Teri's thoughts reminded me that one of my own very best friendships began when she was in her thirties and I was twenty. I was a college junior. She was a professor and university writing center director with four children. That was over seventeen years ago. Yesterday we talked on the phone for two hours. The friendship has sustained itself and matured with us over the years. Another excellent friend of mine is in her mid-twenties (befriended when she was about where you are in her college career!), and my sister--whose friendship I absolutely treasure and whose wisdom I highly value, is 26. She never completed her college degree.
Am pondering deleting this comment; it's sounding "lectury" to me. :p Instead, I'll just leave you with one of Great Scott's concerns the evening you were here. "I hope she didn't mind spending a night with the old folks," he said wistfully as you left. :)
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